missgray777

&&I want to be the type of girl you remember.
I'm pretty much <kelly.
I'm tired of being stuck in bubble wrap.
Being the family's treasure, stuck in a box is not the biggest delight.
I want to see the world as it truely is.
I want to grow up and learn what is real.
Living in suburbia surounded by familiar faces, getting good grades, and pleasing my family is no longer all i want to strive for.
Yes, i know these things won't change.
I can face that, but I want MORE in my life.

I want to grow up knowing the truth about things.
I want to be able to open my eyes each day knowing that i'm not perfectly safe and secure,
I want to make a difference.

There are things that already make me stand out.
These things pretty much make me special,
and i know that with my past i can make a difference.

Unlike most kids,
i've been raise by a single dad.
It's only him and I now that my great grandma is dead,
and he supports this family by working at Norpac about 45mins away from home.
He is the best dad in the world.
He has rescued me from the depths of the sea,
saved me from the monsters,
and faught away the ninjas who did not deserve to take me away.
[all metaphores]

Unlike most kids,
my past, presence, and future pretty much depends on other people's mistakes.
A lot of things happen that I do not control,
I try to make things go my way,
and no matter how hard i try, nothing does.
I'm stubborn and I refuse to settle at a community college,
i refuse to date people who won't make me stand out,
and push me harder on my journey,
and i refuse to neglect God.
He is real.
I know this for a fact, no matter how many people try to convince me otherwise.

Unlike most kids,
i love art and spreading my opinion in ways other than talking.
-and Yes, i have an opinion.
I'm not perfect, and sometimes the things i say will hurt you.
Don't ever think that i'm attacking you on purpose,
i'm conciderate and nice as well.


Unlike most kids,
i get addicted and attached to things way too easily.
When they go,
a part of myself is gone as well.
It's not like i'm into drugs,
but i get very attached to certain lifestyles, foods, people, and animals.
I'm trying to cut myself short of everything that i am addicted to,
so that maybe i can live my who i am.


A preacher one day told us not to define ourselves by something physically on this earth.

I can't define myself by what i do,
such as help out with my youth environment squad,
throw things durring the track season,
make art,
go to church,
listen to music,
nor hang out with good friends.



I can't define myself by who I hang out with,
even if they are the coolest people on this earth.
Be jealous.

I can't define myself by what i own,
even though i love my non-existant pool,
my two adorable cats,
all of my precious music,
and this computer.

I can't define myself by what i look like,
which is okay with me.
I don't want people to judge me on how short I am nor how big of boobs i own.
I know i'm short, i've always been short, and i'll always be short.

If I can't define myself by these,
then what can i define myself as?


Yeah, here I am.

I'm pretty much Kelly.
Finally out of the box


This summer is dedicated to:
finding the truth.

Lo ciento para la cinta.


En la clase de matimaticas habio desturido la cinta..
Mi maestro Elberto es no alegro...



Porque de la cinta,
hago un carto.

ole!




[oh boy, three years of spanish and i still suckk...]

smile.

It makes my day a million times better.

i believe that i have the right to make my own decisions.

If they hurt a few of the people around me,
of course i'm going to feel bad...

and i do feel bad.

But i could not stay in the same situation that i was in.

It was not only hurting me, but in the end it would have hurt everyone else too.


Decisions are extremely hard to make.

It wasn't like i just flipped a coin to dump him,
i did get input from almost everyone i knew.


When i broke up with him i still had feelings for him,
i still wanted to stay close and stay friends..
he was the one who screwed that up.

Very fast.

I wanted to be respected for my decisions,
it wasn't like i was meaning to hurt him.

In the end everything that we had ever shared was burrned to the ground and laughed at..

He became mentally challenged and went through a few issues.


I didn't understand once he came to the point to saying that taking my virginity was an inside joke with his friends..



what a fucker.

I'm stuck in a cornfield with complete idiots.

No one notices me,

No one really cares,

My mission: to stand out.



I've gotten rid of my ex-bf who has completly gone mentally physicotic and off the edge,

and now i've met a new one which happens to be a little better off.




Why?

i don't know.